I am so ashamed....

... that I can actually name the Kardashian sisters and tell who's who in a picture. I just discovered this disturbing fact today.

Enough with the santa suit!

I am so sick of Bob and his chubby santa I could puke. Come on, I realize that Bob is the gift that keeps on giving and he and his Enzyte infused manhood probably make the ladies feel like it's Christmas all damn year long, but enough is enough!

Crimes in Midtown

I just saw a story on KMSP.com about an assault in a garage in the Corcoran/Standish neighborhood.

The following comes from this article :

During the incident, a resident was beaten and sexually assaulted in her detached garage by the male suspect around 2:30 p.m. The victim fought with her attacker before he fled the area.

later in the article they describe the suspect:

The suspect is an unknown, 20 to 40-years-old, approximately six-feet tall with a medium build. The suspect is described as wearing a grey hooded sweatshirt and jeans.

Oh yeah! THAT guy. Rest assured that I will keep clear of all men around 6ft tall with a medium build between 20 and 40. I understand she was probably in shock and I am not making light of this AT ALL but I don't think description is going to help anyone apprehend this guy. I hope he is caught by some other means before anyone else is hurt.

I had a bout with crime myself this week. I will have the entire story on my other blog "Girl Meets House" later this week, but the quick story is I gave quite a good description, the police caught the kid and I got my iPod back. He got an ankle bracelet until his final hearing next month.

The turkeys return to Midtown

I was headed up to Target the other day and I noticed something going on at Minnehaha and Lake. People were stopped in cars in odd places, pedestrians were pointing, children were in awe. I looked over and saw the turkeys were back. Right in the middle of Lake St! I only wish I'd had my camera with me!

My evil plan...

Congratulations on being the creator of a new

Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: Widespread Misery.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Madness

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first seduce a senator. This will cause the world to give one another worried looks, baffled by your arrival. Who is this despoiler of all that is good and nice and true? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?

Stage Two

Next, you must contaminate/poison the pacific ocean. This will all be done from a amusement park, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will wet their pants, as countless hordes of evil clowns hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must tauntingly wave your plague of doom, bringing about nightmares for every man, woman and child. Your name shall become synonymous with the spice girls, and no man will ever again dare make you clean your room. Everyone will bow before your unbreakable will, and the world will have no choice but to restore your credit rating.

Need help making your own evil plan? Go here.